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The Official News Source of the Hypnotic Football League

THE HFL CRIMSON CHRONICLE

Vol. 2  •  Issue 13  •  Week 13  •  August 31, 2026
Cover: Breece Hall
On the Cover: Breece Hall, HB, New England Patriots

Denver and Cincinnati both push to 12-0, New England and Seattle combine for 115 points in the season's second-biggest shootout, and Jahmyr Gibbs closes in on the single-season rushing record with five games to play.

Denver blanked Kansas City 35-0 and Cincinnati handled Cleveland 34-17, and the league's two unbeaten teams are both 12-0 with five weeks left. Green Bay is the closest thing to company: the Packers beat Washington 35-28 in the two-10-1-teams showdown the Chronicle flagged last issue, ending the Commanders' unbeaten-adjacent run and pushing Green Bay to 11-1, alone in third. And in New England, Breece Hall ran for 225 yards and three touchdowns as the Patriots outlasted Seattle 68-47 — the second-highest-scoring game the Chronicle has logged all season, one point shy of Week 6's 66-50 shootout.

Week 13 Scoreboard

Cowboys14Buccaneers31
Broncos35Chiefs0
Commanders28Packers35
Jaguars24Texans45
Bengals34Browns17
Bills24Ravens27
Lions10Jets ★31
Colts14Vikings35
Rams17Dolphins19
Saints38Panthers19
Cardinals34Eagles35
49ers31Falcons28
Seahawks47Patriots68
Giants30Steelers17

Bears, Chargers, Titans and Raiders were idle in Week 13.

★ Game of the Week — Jets 31, Lions 10

Riley Leonard threw for 199 yards and two touchdowns on 11-of-17 passing, a 143.9 rating, and Nick Boatwright ran for 116 yards and two more scores for New York. The Jets outgained Detroit 369 total yards to 191 and converted a fourth down along the way.

C.J. Stroud threw for 154 yards and a touchdown for Detroit, and Isaac Likely added a touchdown catch of his own, but the Lions managed just 41 rushing yards as a team and were never able to make it a contest. New York improves to 10-3. Detroit falls to 5-8.

Around the League

Cowboys 14, Buccaneers 31

Justin Herbert threw for 203 yards and four touchdowns, and Deebo Samuel Sr caught two of them among his 86 yards, as Tampa Bay cruised past Dallas. The Cowboys' offense never found any traction. Tampa Bay improves to 7-5. Dallas falls to 5-7.

Broncos 35, Chiefs 0

Jahmyr Gibbs ran for 152 yards and two touchdowns and caught a third score, and Warren Davis threw for 93 yards and two touchdowns without an interception, as Denver's defense pitched a shutout. Kansas City's offense managed nothing all afternoon. The Broncos are 12-0. Kansas City falls to 4-9.

Commanders 28, Packers 35

Trevor Etienne ran for 238 yards and three touchdowns, a 72-yard burst included, and Jayden Daniels threw for 249 yards and two more scores as Green Bay handed Washington its second loss of the season. Anthony Richardson Sr threw for 327 yards and ran for a touchdown of his own, and Dennis Loftus caught nine passes for 123 yards, but Washington's defense couldn't slow Etienne down. Green Bay improves to 11-1. Washington falls to 10-2.

Jaguars 24, Texans 45

Quintin Warner threw for 153 yards and two touchdowns without an interception, and Bijan Robinson ran for 90 yards and two more scores, as Houston pulled away from Jacksonville. Devin Rolle caught four passes for 100 yards and a touchdown for the Jaguars, but it wasn't enough offense to keep pace. Houston improves to 8-4. Jacksonville falls to 4-8.

Bengals 34, Browns 17

Nicholas Battle threw for 207 yards and three touchdowns without an interception, a 158.3 rating, and Jaydon Blue ran for 82 yards and a touchdown as Cincinnati stayed perfect on the road. Christian Ross and Jahdae Walker each caught touchdown passes, and Derek Stingley Jr intercepted two passes on defense. Shedeur Sanders threw for 221 yards and two touchdowns for Cleveland, and Malik Nabers caught seven passes for 115 yards, but two Sanders interceptions were costly. The Bengals are 12-0. Cleveland falls to 2-10.

Bills 24, Ravens 27

J.J. McCarthy threw for 253 yards and two touchdowns, and Kayvon Thibodeaux added two sacks on defense, as Baltimore held off Buffalo. Josh Allen threw for 216 yards and two touchdowns for the Bills, and James Pearce Jr. had a sack and a half for Buffalo's defense, but it wasn't enough to escape with the win. Baltimore improves to 2-10. Buffalo falls to 4-8.

Colts 14, Vikings 35

Jordan Love threw for 186 yards and three touchdowns, and Jaelan Phillips had three sacks on defense, as Minnesota ran away from Indianapolis. Luke Kyle caught four passes for 102 yards and a touchdown for the Colts in his own bright spot on an otherwise difficult afternoon. Minnesota improves to 3-9. Indianapolis falls to 1-11.

Rams 17, Dolphins 19

Baker Mayfield threw for 206 yards without a touchdown, and Isiah Pacheco ran for 81 yards and a score, as Miami held on. Trevor Lawrence threw for 177 yards and two touchdowns for Los Angeles, and Jaylin Noel caught six passes for 90 yards and a score of his own, but the Rams came up two points short. Miami improves to 8-4. Los Angeles falls to 4-7-1.

Saints 38, Panthers 19

Lamar Jackson threw for 154 yards and three touchdowns without an interception, and Jayden Higgins caught two of them among his 107 yards, as New Orleans pulled away from Carolina. Joe Burrow threw for 325 yards for the Panthers, but four interceptions — two of them by Reed Blankenship — ended any chance of a comeback. New Orleans improves to 9-3. Carolina falls to 5-7.

Cardinals 34, Eagles 35

Caleb Williams threw for 220 yards and four touchdowns on 19-of-21 passing for Philadelphia, and Marquise Brown and Barry Fitzgerald each caught two of them, as the Eagles survived a shootout. Brock Purdy threw for 375 yards and four touchdowns for Arizona, and Jonathan Taylor ran for 167 yards and a score, but it wasn't quite enough to escape with the win. Jabari Howard, back in the lineup after last issue's Press Row letter, carried 11 times for 30 yards and a touchdown. Philadelphia improves to 9-4. Arizona falls to 8-4.

49ers 31, Falcons 28

Cam Ward threw for 214 yards and a touchdown, and De'Von Achane ran for 127 yards and a score of his own, a 69-yard burst included, as San Francisco held off Atlanta. Saquon Barkley ran for 117 yards and a touchdown for the Falcons, and Jalen Hurts threw for 199 yards and two more scores, but it wasn't enough to complete the comeback. San Francisco improves to 9-3. Atlanta falls to 4-8.

Seahawks 47, Patriots 68

See this issue's cover and Feature Story for the full account of the season's second-biggest shootout. New England improves to 6-6. Seattle falls to 1-11.

Giants 30, Steelers 17

Patrick Mahomes threw for 190 yards and two touchdowns without an interception for New York, and Emmett Bennett threw for 215 yards and a touchdown for Pittsburgh, but two Bennett interceptions were too costly to overcome. New York improves to 6-6. Pittsburgh falls to 2-10.

The All-HFL Weekly Team

Week 13's honor roll, built straight from the box scores.

Caleb Williams
QB, Eagles
19/21, 220 yds, 4 TD. A 90% completion rate to go with four touchdowns in a shootout win.
Trevor Etienne
HB, Packers
12 car, 238 yds, 3 TD (72-yd long). The best rushing day of the season not named Jahmyr Gibbs.
Louis Geyer
WR, Seahawks
13 rec, 278 yds, 3 TD. The second-best single-game receiving performance the Chronicle has on record — in a loss.
Cade Otton
TE, Cardinals
8 rec, 147 yds. The quiet engine of Arizona's near-comeback.
Nick Bosa
DT, Packers
4 tackles, 3.0 sacks. The best pass-rushing day of the week, in the league's biggest game.
Travis Hunter
CB, Patriots
3 tackles, 2 INT (46 return yds), 1 TD. Two interceptions and a pick-six in the season's wildest shootout.
Chase McLaughlin
K, Commanders
3/3 FG, long 57 yds. A perfect day, capped by a 57-yarder, in a losing effort.
  • Denver and Cincinnati are both 12-0. Five weeks left, and the league's two unbeaten teams are still unbeaten.
  • Washington's 10-1 start is over. Green Bay beat the Commanders 35-28 in the two-team showdown the Chronicle flagged last issue, and now sits alone in third at 11-1.
  • New England 68, Seattle 47 — 115 combined points, the second-highest total the Chronicle has logged this season, one point shy of Week 6's 66-50 shootout.
  • Louis Geyer's 278-yard day is the second-best single-game receiving performance on record, twenty-two yards shy of the all-time mark.
  • Jabari Howard was available after all, and scored a touchdown in Sunday's loss to Philadelphia.

Milestone Watch

  • Jahmyr Gibbs, HB, Broncos. 2,083 rushing yards through 12 games — a 173.6-yard-per-game pace. He needs 841 more yards over the final five games, about 168 per game, to break Bijan Robinson's single-season record of 2,924 — right in line with where his season average already sits.

Record Book Watch

Louis Geyer's 278 receiving yards Sunday are the second-most the Chronicle has ever logged in a single game, twenty-two yards shy of the all-time mark of 291. Combined with three touchdown catches, it's the best receiving day of the season anyone has produced — and it came in a loss.

Feature Story: 115 Points, and the Best Day Nobody Will Remember Winning

New England beat Seattle 68-47 on Sunday, the second-highest-scoring game the Chronicle has logged all season. Buried inside it: Louis Geyer caught thirteen passes for 278 yards and three touchdowns, the best receiving day by any player in the league this year — in a 21-point loss.

Breece Hall did the heaviest lifting. Thirteen carries, 225 yards, three touchdowns, and four more catches for 95 yards — a complete afternoon in a game New England won by 21. Drake Maye added 290 yards and three touchdowns of his own alongside him.

Seattle simply refused to stop scoring. Bo Nix threw for 366 yards and three touchdowns despite four interceptions, and Geyer was the biggest reason the deficit never felt safe — thirteen catches is a full workload by itself, and 278 yards on top of it is the kind of number that headlines most winning boxscores. It didn't headline this one. For the second straight issue, the Chronicle's best individual statistical performance belongs to the losing team: Josh Allen last week, Louis Geyer this week. New England is 6-6 tonight. On the strength of Geyer's afternoon, a reader skimming only one box score would have guessed the final score ran the other way.

Press Row & Transaction Wire

Press Row

No new letters reached the desk this week, but an update on last issue's story: Jabari Howard was on the field Sunday against Philadelphia, carrying eleven times for 30 yards and a touchdown in the loss. Whatever the family matters Coach Stanks referenced last issue were, they didn't keep him out of the lineup. The Chronicle will leave it there unless there's more to report.

Press Row stays open — a word about your own team, a shot across the division, a prediction you'll put your name to. It runs in Issue 14.

Transaction Wire & Injury Report

Nothing crossed the trade wire this week, and the injury report is unchanged from last issue: Will McDonald IV, LEDGE, Dolphins, remains on IR, and Zach Sieler, DT, Dolphins, Bobby Brown III, DT, Dolphins, John Campa, TE, Vikings and Cam Beasley, FS, Patriots remain out. No new names joined the list this week.

Rookie Watch

Two perfect seasons continue, a Colts rookie has a bright spot in a lost year, and Jabari Howard's status is resolved.

Warren Davis
QB, Broncos
5/8, 93 yds, 2 TD. Two more touchdowns in a shutout win. Still 12-0 as a starter.
Nicholas Battle
QB, Bengals
11/13, 207 yds, 3 TD, 158.3 rating. Still 12-0 as a starter.
Luke Kyle
WR, Colts
4 rec, 102 yds, 1 TD. A first big game for a rookie on a 1-11 team.
Brandon Hart
HB, Panthers
9 car, 8 yds, 3 rec, 23 yds. A quiet week in a loss to New Orleans.
Jabari Howard
HB, Cardinals
11 car, 30 yds, 1 TD. Back in the lineup, and into the end zone — see Press Row above.

Offensive Rookie of the Year lean: Davis and Battle are a combined 24-0 as starters, still the story of the rookie class. Luke Kyle's afternoon in Indianapolis is worth a second look going forward.

Defensive Rookie of the Year lean: still wide open. No rookie had a signature defensive week.

Upcoming Week Preview — Week 14

★ Game of the Week — Packers at 49ers

Green Bay is 11-1 off Trevor Etienne's 238-yard demolition of Washington; San Francisco is 9-3 off a hard-fought win in Atlanta. The league's best team not named Denver or Cincinnati travels west to face one of its hottest.

Jenna's pick: Packers

A housekeeping note: Lions, Jets, Chiefs and Eagles are idle in Week 14. That leaves fourteen games on the board, and the picks below cover all of them.

Texans at BroncosPick: Broncos

Denver is 12-0; Houston is 8-4.

Bills at SeahawksPick: Bills

Buffalo is 4-8; Seattle is 1-11 despite Louis Geyer's huge day last week.

Falcons at BuccaneersPick: Buccaneers

Tampa Bay is 7-5; Atlanta is 4-8.

Cardinals at RaidersPick: Cardinals

Arizona is 8-4 off a one-point loss to Philadelphia; Las Vegas is 2-10.

Rams at SaintsPick: Saints

New Orleans is 9-3; Los Angeles is 4-7-1.

Cowboys at CommandersPick: Commanders

Washington is 10-2 despite last week's loss; Dallas is 5-7.

Panthers at ChargersPick: Chargers

Los Angeles is 8-4; Carolina is 5-7 off four Joe Burrow interceptions.

Steelers at BrownsPick: Browns

Both teams are 2-10; Cleveland gets the nod at home.

Vikings at PatriotsPick: Patriots

New England is 6-6 and just posted 68 points; Minnesota is 3-9.

Ravens at DolphinsPick: Dolphins

Miami is 8-4; Baltimore is 2-10 despite last week's win over Buffalo.

Bengals at GiantsPick: Bengals

Cincinnati is 12-0; New York is 6-6.

Bears at TitansPick: Bears

Chicago is 6-5-1; Tennessee is 6-6.

Jaguars at ColtsPick: Jaguars

Jacksonville is 4-8; Indianapolis is 1-11 despite Luke Kyle's breakout last week.

Jenna's Picks — Season Record: 141-50-1 (73.4%)

Twelve right, two wrong in Week 13 — the Ravens over the Bills and the Eagles over the Cardinals were the two the desk missed, both one-score games. A strong week to push the season mark past 73%.

Fan Mailbag

No letters reached the desk this week beyond the Press Row update above, so the Chronicle wrote the questions it's confident somebody in this league is asking. The real mailbag is open and runs with your name on it.

From a reader still thinking about the Patriots-Seahawks final: "How does a team give up 68 points and still have the best receiver in the league that day?"
Jenna: That's this league in a nutshell some weeks. Louis Geyer's afternoon — thirteen catches, 278 yards, three touchdowns — would be the headline in almost any other box score this season. It just happened to share a field with Breece Hall's 225-yard, three-touchdown day, and New England's defense never found an answer for Seattle's offense either. Both teams were, at various points, the best offense on the field. Only one of them had a defense show up often enough to matter.
From a reader watching the standings: "Denver and Cincinnati are both 12-0 with five weeks left. Has either one been seriously tested yet?"
Jenna: Not lately, at least by the final scores. Denver's last two wins were a 42-28 decision over the Chargers and Sunday's 35-0 shutout of Kansas City. Cincinnati's have been an 11-point win over Dallas and a 17-point win over Cleveland. Green Bay, at 11-1, is the only team currently positioned to catch either of them, and the Packers don't play either one before the season ends. Barring a genuine upset, this looks like it's coming down to Week 18 with both teams still perfect.
From a reader doing the math on Jahmyr Gibbs: "Is he actually going to break the rushing record, or is this just a hot streak that cools off?"
Jenna: The math says it's close to a coin flip leaning his way. He needs 841 yards in five games — 168 a week — and his season average sits at 173.6. He doesn't need to get hotter, just stay exactly as good as he's already been. The one variable the Chronicle can't account for is health; barring an injury, this is a record that falls in the season's final weeks.

League Poll

Results from last issue's poll are in: just 2 votes so far on the league's new live poll, split evenly between "Green Bay gets a chance to answer its first loss immediately" and "book it as an instant classic" — one vote apiece. Green Bay took care of business, 35-28, and Washington's 10-1 start is over.

This week's poll:

Which Week 13 performance was the most fun to watch?

  • Breece Hall — 225 rushing yards and three touchdowns in a 68-47 shootout
  • Louis Geyer — 278 receiving yards and three touchdowns, in a loss
  • Trevor Etienne — 238 rushing yards in a statement win over Washington
  • Travis Hunter — two interceptions, including a pick-six, in the season's wildest game

Sign in with Discord to vote and see where the league landed.

Thirteen weeks down, five to go, and the top of the standings has never been clearer: Denver and Cincinnati, both perfect, with Green Bay the last team within realistic reach. Underneath that, a running back in Denver is quietly circling a season rushing record, and a receiver in Seattle put up the second-best day the book has ever seen in a losing effort.

Press Row is open, the mailbag runs with your name on it, and the poll is live — vote, and the Chronicle will see everybody back here after Week 14.

Until next week, the Chronicle stands with all 32.
— Jenna Tulls, Senior HFL Correspondent

Beat Jenna

Every Game of the Week pick, scored. Jenna is 7-1 on the 8 games she has called.

MemberWLBeat Jenna
1MrPlanters NE701/5
2luke2612 100/0
3skeem__ 010/0
—Jenna Tulls DESK71—

Full table and this week's pick →

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