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The Official News Source of the Hypnotic Football League

THE HFL CRIMSON CHRONICLE

Vol. 2  •  Issue 9  •  Week 9  •  August 14, 2026
Cover: Nicholas Battle
On the Cover: Nicholas Battle, QB, Cincinnati Bengals

A rookie quarterback ends Washington's perfect season, Green Bay and Denver both push to 9-0, and a kicker in Los Angeles breaks a record that has stood since the league's first season.

On the Cover: Nicholas Battle, QB, Cincinnati Bengals

A rookie quarterback ends Washington's perfect season, Green Bay and Denver both push to 9-0, and a kicker in Los Angeles breaks a record that has stood since the league's first season.

Nine weeks in, three teams still have not lost, and for the first time all year, the number that mattered most on Sunday belonged to the fourth one that did. Washington came in at 7-0, the last unbeaten team with a game against another unbeaten team on the schedule, and Cincinnati beat them anyway — 27-23, a rookie quarterback outplaying a perfect record. Anthony Richardson Sr. completed every single pass he threw. It was not enough. Green Bay and Denver both won to reach 9-0 of their own, and in Los Angeles, a kicker named Wil Lutz did something nobody in this league's history has done: he made a 72-yard field goal, four yards past the previous record. Nine weeks down, the record book got rewritten, and the unbeaten group just got smaller.

Week 9 Scoreboard

Texans38Jaguars14
Broncos51Panthers48
Lions17Cowboys9
Ravens24Browns ★22
Patriots41Steelers34
Falcons34Raiders20
Packers48Bills22
Titans28Colts17
Chargers30Chiefs27
Eagles35Giants14
Jets35Rams24
49ers19Cardinals34
Commanders23Bengals27
Vikings27Bears24

Buccaneers, Dolphins, Saints and Seahawks were on their bye.

★ Game of the Week — Ravens 24, Browns 22

Baltimore snapped an 0-7 start with a game that looked like most of its losses — better than the record, right up until it finally mattered. J.J. McCarthy threw for 185 yards and two touchdowns, a 136.4 rating, and Oronde Gadsden II caught both of them. Cleveland actually outthrew the Ravens through the air: Shedeur Sanders finished 18-of-34 for 289 yards and three touchdowns of his own.

Two interceptions from Sanders were the difference, along with a Baltimore defense that made just enough stops in the fourth quarter. Both teams sit at 1-7 tonight — Baltimore finally has a win to show for a season that has looked better than its record for weeks, and Cleveland is left searching for the same thing.

Around the League

Texans 38, Jaguars 14

Houston's defense forced seven Jacksonville giveaways, an avalanche the Jaguars had no way to overcome despite outrushing the Texans 177 to 129. Jonathon Brooks broke off an 89-yard touchdown run and lost a fumble of his own on a separate carry, and Jacksonville's passing game finished with negative net yardage on the day. Quintin Warner threw for 180 yards and two touchdowns despite three interceptions, and Bijan Robinson's 95 yards from scrimmage and a receiving score rounded out the difference. Houston improves to 6-2. Jacksonville falls to 3-6.

Broncos 51, Panthers 48

Jahmyr Gibbs authored the best fantasy day the Chronicle has logged all season — 21 carries for 235 yards and two touchdowns, five catches for 90 yards and two more, 325 total yards and four touchdowns in all — and Denver still needed every one of them. Warren Davis threw for 321 yards and four touchdowns of his own, and Harrison Mevis made all three of his field goals, but Carolina refused to go away: Joe Burrow threw for 376 yards and three touchdowns, including an 80-yard connection, and rookie Brandon Hart ran for 113 yards and two scores. Ashton Gillotte even returned an interception for a touchdown to keep it a one-score game in the fourth quarter. Denver's 551 total yards were enough to outlast Carolina's 481 in the wildest game of the week. The Broncos are 9-0, tied with Green Bay atop the league. Carolina falls to 4-4.

Lions 17, Cowboys 9

Detroit's defense sacked Spencer Rattler five times and held Dallas without a passing touchdown, and that was enough in a game that never found much rhythm on either side. Chuba Hubbard ran for 74 yards and a touchdown, Dameon Pierce added a short score of his own, and the Lions' ground game outweighed a Cowboys passing attack that managed just 183 yards and no scores. Cam Little made three of four field goals for Dallas, including a 52-yarder, but it wasn't enough offense. Detroit improves to 3-6. Dallas falls to 4-4.

Patriots 41, Steelers 34

Emmett Bennett threw for 400 yards and two touchdowns for Pittsburgh — the best passing day of the week by yardage — and still lost, because Breece Hall ran for 112 yards and two scores and Ben Jimenez returned an interception 91 yards for a touchdown of his own. Drake Maye was efficient without needing to do much, 212 yards and a rushing score. New England improves to 3-5. Pittsburgh falls to 2-6.

Falcons 34, Raiders 20

Jalen Hurts accounted for three touchdowns himself — a passing score and two more on the ground, including a 33-yard run — and Saquon Barkley added 164 yards from scrimmage as Atlanta pulled away from the league's last winless team. Jaxson Dart threw for 284 yards for Las Vegas, but the Raiders managed just 40 rushing yards and could not sustain enough drives to keep pace. Daniel Carlson made a 62-yard field goal for good measure. Atlanta improves to 4-5. Las Vegas falls to 0-9, alone now at the bottom of the league.

Packers 48, Bills 22

Jayden Daniels threw for 340 yards and five touchdowns, a 151.4 rating, and Sam LaPorta caught three of them himself — seven catches, 148 yards, a 73-yard score among them. Green Bay's defense scored too: Devon Witherspoon returned an interception for a touchdown, and Christian Gonzalez picked off two more passes. Josh Allen threw for 334 yards but was intercepted four times, and Buffalo's offense could never find enough answers. The Packers are 9-0, tied with Denver for the league's best record. Buffalo falls to 3-5.

Titans 28, Colts 17

Dak Prescott threw for 292 yards and three touchdowns, Marvin Daniels caught eight passes for 138 yards, and Bhayshul Tuten added 103 yards from scrimmage as Tennessee pulled away from Indianapolis in the second half. Hayden Andrews threw for 206 yards and two scores for the Colts, but Christian McCaffrey was held to 82 total yards, and Indianapolis could not keep pace. Tennessee improves to 5-4. Indianapolis falls to 1-8.

Chargers 30, Chiefs 27

A week after his own six-interception nightmare, Jalen Milroe bounced back with 391 yards and three touchdowns — and lost anyway, as Shane Dressler continued his own hot streak with 327 yards and two more scores for Los Angeles. Cole Kmet caught nine passes for 172 yards, J.K. Dobbins scored twice on short catches, and Dexter Lawrence II's two sacks helped hold Kansas City off just long enough. The Chargers improve to 6-3. Kansas City falls to 4-5.

Eagles 35, Giants 14

Caleb Williams accounted for four touchdowns — two through the air, two on the ground — going 12-of-16 for 195 yards, a 154.9 rating. Jonathan Taylor added 110 rushing yards and a receiving score of his own, and Philadelphia's defense intercepted three passes, two of them by Christian Elliss. Cam Skattebo fought back with 121 rushing yards and two touchdowns for New York, but three Giants giveaways were too much to overcome. The Eagles improve to 5-4. New York falls to 4-4.

Jets 35, Rams 24

Nick Boatwright ran for 112 yards and two touchdowns, Riley Leonard threw for two more scores on just 18 attempts, and New York's rushing attack — 147 yards as a team — did the heavy lifting in a win over Los Angeles. Tevan Jett answered with 115 yards from scrimmage and two touchdowns for the Rams, and Trevor Lawrence threw for 224 yards, but two Los Angeles giveaways proved costly. The Jets improve to 6-3. The Rams fall to 4-4-1.

49ers 19, Cardinals 34

Arizona's defense sacked San Francisco's quarterback eight times and forced five giveaways, a collapse the 49ers had no way to survive despite De'Von Achane's 129 yards from scrimmage and a touchdown. Jermaine Johnson II had three sacks and two forced fumbles for the Cardinals, and Brock Purdy threw for 165 yards and three touchdowns on just 17 attempts. San Francisco falls to 6-2. Arizona improves to 6-3.

Commanders 23, Bengals 27

Anthony Richardson Sr. did not miss a single pass all day — 22-of-22 for 272 yards and two touchdowns, a 148.4 rating, plus a 76-yard, one-touchdown day on the ground — and Washington still lost. Cincinnati's defense forced the only giveaway of the game, and rookie Nicholas Battle needed just 15 attempts to throw for 174 yards and two touchdowns, a 154.5 rating, spreading scores to Khalil Shakir while Jaydon Blue's ground game did the rest — 99 yards and a touchdown on 16 carries. DeVonta Smith caught seven passes for 107 yards and a score for Washington, but it wasn't enough. The Bengals are 8-0. Washington's perfect season ends at 7-1.

Vikings 27, Bears 24

James Cook III ran for 119 yards and two touchdowns, and Minnesota held on despite Dylan Sampson's own huge day for Chicago — five carries for 132 yards and two touchdowns, a 97-yard run among them. Jordan Love threw for 273 yards but was intercepted twice, and Lorenzo Whitworth completed just 5 of 20 passes for Chicago in a game his defense and running game nearly saved on their own. The Vikings improve to 2-7. The Bears fall to 5-3-1.

The All-HFL Weekly Team

Week 9's honor roll, built straight from the box scores.

Jayden Daniels
QB, Packers
18/26, 340 yds, 5 TD, 151.4 rating. Five touchdown passes to keep Green Bay perfect at 9-0.
Jahmyr Gibbs
HB, Broncos
21 car, 235 yds, 2 TD; 5 rec, 90 yds, 2 TD. 325 total yards and four touchdowns in the season's wildest shootout.
Dont'e Thornton Jr.
WR, Broncos
4 rec, 149 yds, 2 TD. The second-biggest weapon in Denver's 51-48 win.
Sam LaPorta
TE, Packers
7 rec, 148 yds, 3 TD (73-yd long). Three touchdown catches in the same afternoon.
Jermaine Johnson II
REDGE, Cardinals
4 tackles, 3.0 sacks, 2 FF. Eight total sacks allowed by San Francisco, three of them his.
Christian Gonzalez
CB, Packers
4 tackles, 2 INT (56 return yds). Two picks to go with a Devon Witherspoon pick-six in the same secondary.
Wil Lutz
K, Chargers
3/3 FG, long 72 yds, 3/3 XP. A new all-time HFL record — the previous mark was 68.
  • Three teams remain unbeaten, down from four. Green Bay and Denver are both 9-0. Cincinnati is 8-0 after beating Washington, the team that had been the fourth. Washington's perfect season ends at 7-1.
  • Wil Lutz kicked a 72-yard field goal. It is now the longest field goal in HFL history, breaking a record that had stood at 68 yards since two kickers tied it in Season 2 and Season 3. The Chronicle confirmed it directly against the league's official records page.
  • Jahmyr Gibbs's 325 total yards and four touchdowns were the best individual day the Chronicle has logged all season — bigger than his own 259-yard game in Week 4, in a game Denver needed every bit of to escape with a win.
  • Baltimore is no longer winless. The Ravens snapped an 0-7 start with a win over Cleveland, though both teams sit at 1-7 tonight.
  • Las Vegas is alone at the bottom. At 0-9, the Raiders are the league's only remaining winless team now that Baltimore has a win on the board.

Record Book Watch

The record book moved this week, and not by a little.

  • NEW RECORD — Longest Field Goal: 72 yards, Wil Lutz vs. Kansas City. The previous mark was 68 yards, shared by two kickers across two different seasons; Lutz's kick clears it by four yards outright. Confirmed directly against NeonSportz's official leaderboard and logged in the corrections file.
  • Approached, not threatened. Jahmyr Gibbs's 235 rushing yards were the best rushing day of the week but stayed well shy of Saquon Barkley's 283-yard single-game mark. Jayden Daniels's five touchdown passes were also a strong week but short of the single-game record of eight.

Feature Story: The Perfect Season Ends

It was always going to take an unbeaten team to end an unbeaten team, and on Sunday, Cincinnati did it to Washington. Anthony Richardson Sr. was as good as he has been all year — 22 completions on 22 attempts, not a single incompletion, two touchdowns, a 148.4 rating — and it still was not enough. The Commanders are 7-1 tonight. For the first time since Week 1, they know what a loss feels like.

The Bengals won it with almost the opposite profile: a rookie quarterback who did not need to do much — 15 attempts, 174 yards, two touchdowns — behind a defense that forced the only turnover of the game and a running game that ground out 99 yards on 16 carries. Where Washington's win streak was built on a single quarterback never making a mistake, Cincinnati's is built on never needing one player to be perfect. Both approaches got a team to the doorstep of a perfect season. Only one of them is still there.

That leaves three: Green Bay and Denver, both 9-0, and now Cincinnati, one game back at 8-0. The Bengals have not played either of the other two yet. Green Bay and Denver still have not played each other. Nine weeks ago, this looked like a thirty-two-team field with no favorites. It is now three teams, and the Chronicle would not bet against any of them.

Press Row & Transaction Wire

Press Row

The column stays open. No new quotes reached the desk this week, but with a perfect season gone and a league record broken in the same afternoon, there is no shortage of things worth saying. Send it in — a word about your own team, a shot across the division, a prediction you'll put your name to. Wit, not venom, as always. It runs in Issue 10.

Transaction Wire & Injury Report

Nothing crossed the trade wire this week. The injury board added one name and subtracted another.

Sharrif Claiborne, WR, Cowboys (abdominal tear, roughly 3 weeks) is the lone new addition. The good news: Will Anderson Jr., REDGE, Packers, whose torn labrum was reported back in Issue 7, is off the injury report entirely — a healthy return for the pass rusher on a Green Bay defense that just kept its perfect season alive.

Still out with no change in status: Nate Wiggins, CB, Ravens, Emery Jones Jr., LT, Eagles, Benjamin Phillips, RG, Steelers, Travis Etienne Jr., HB, Jaguars, Emeka Egbuka, WR, 49ers, Zach Sieler, DT, Dolphins, Darren Conover, RT, Bears, Brennan Poole, RT, Raiders, Cam Beasley, FS, Patriots, Andrew Wylie, RG (free agent, no team), Bobby Brown III, DT, Dolphins, Kelvin Banks Jr., RT, Panthers, John Campa, TE, Vikings, Chad Landry, REDGE, Titans and Matt Feldman, RT, Jaguars (Achilles tear, roughly 50 weeks — done for the year).

Rookie Watch

The two rookie quarterbacks anchored the biggest game of the week from opposite sides of the final score.

  • Nicholas Battle, QB, Bengals. 12-of-15 for 174 yards, two touchdowns and no interceptions, a 154.5 rating, in a win over the previously-unbeaten Commanders. The signature win of his rookie season so far.
  • Warren Davis, QB, Broncos. 16-of-27 for 321 yards and four touchdowns in the wildest shootout of the year. He is 9-0 as a starter, matching Denver's perfect record.
  • Brandon Hart, HB, Panthers. 14 carries for 113 yards and two touchdowns in a one-score loss to Denver — his best statistical day of the season, even in defeat.

Offensive Rookie of the Year lean: Warren Davis stays perfect at 9-0, but Nicholas Battle's win over Washington was the single biggest moment any rookie has produced this season.

Defensive Rookie of the Year lean: still wide open. No rookie had a signature defensive week.

Upcoming Week Preview — Week 10

★ Game of the Week — Chiefs at Panthers

Kansas City is 4-5 and coming off a 30-27 loss in which its defense couldn't get a late stop; Carolina is 4-4 and coming off a wild 51-48 shootout loss to Denver. Neither defense looked steady last week, which probably means this one doesn't stay low-scoring either.

Jenna's pick: Panthers

A housekeeping note: Broncos, Packers, Cardinals and Vikings are idle in Week 10. That leaves fourteen games on the board, and the picks below cover all of them.

Jaguars at TitansPick: Titans

Tennessee is 5-4 and just won its second straight; Jacksonville is 3-6 and turned it over seven times last week.

Saints at SteelersPick: Saints

New Orleans is 5-3 off its bye; Pittsburgh is 2-6 despite Emmett Bennett's 400-yard passing day last week.

Jets at BillsPick: Jets

New York is 6-3 and has won three of its last four; Buffalo is 3-5 and just threw four interceptions against Green Bay.

Buccaneers at BrownsPick: Buccaneers

Tampa Bay is 3-5 off its bye; Cleveland is 1-7 despite a genuinely good passing performance from Shedeur Sanders last week.

Eagles at LionsPick: Eagles

Philadelphia is 5-4 and just scored 35 on the road; Detroit is 3-6 despite a defense that just sacked Dallas five times.

Raiders at ColtsPick: Colts

Two teams at the bottom of the league meet, and Indianapolis's 1-8 is a game better than Las Vegas's 0-9.

Bengals at PatriotsPick: Bengals

Cincinnati is 8-0 and just ended Washington's perfect season; New England is 3-5.

Seahawks at RamsPick: Rams

Los Angeles is 4-4-1 and coming off a loss it should learn from; Seattle is 0-8 off its bye.

Chargers at TexansPick: Texans

Houston is 6-2 and forced seven turnovers last week; Los Angeles is 6-3 and playing well itself, but on the road against the tougher record.

Ravens at GiantsPick: Giants

New York is 4-4 and looking to bounce back; Baltimore is 1-7 with just its first win of the season behind it.

Dolphins at 49ersPick: 49ers

Both teams are 6-2, both are coming off very different kinds of results, and San Francisco gets the nod at home after a rough week it will want to answer.

Commanders at FalconsPick: Commanders

Washington is 7-1 and just lost its first game of the season; Atlanta is 4-5 and coming off a good win of its own, but not a 7-1-good one.

Cowboys at BearsPick: Bears

Chicago is 5-3-1 despite a tough loss to Minnesota; Dallas is 4-4 and still searching for a passing touchdown from last week's game.

Jenna's Picks — Season Record: 98-35-1 (73.5%)

Eight right, six wrong in Week 9 — the Lions over the Cowboys, the Ravens over the Browns, the Patriots over the Steelers, the Eagles over the Giants, the Cardinals over the 49ers and the Vikings over the Bears were the six the desk missed. A rough week by recent standards, but the record stays well clear of .700.

Fan Mailbag

One letter reached the desk this week — the rest are questions the Chronicle is confident somebody in this league is asking. The real mailbag is open and runs with your name on it.

From a reader looking past the top of the standings: "Which team has the best chance to make a second-half jump that nobody is expecting?"
Jenna: The Chronicle's answer is Baltimore, and the case is not sentimental — it's in the box score. J.J. McCarthy has posted a 139.8 passer rating in a loss to Carolina and a 136.4 rating in this week's win over Cleveland, back-to-back efficient performances that simply have not matched the win-loss column until now. An 0-7 start is a brutal hole, and the Ravens will not be catching the three unbeaten teams above them. But a roster playing this well through two straight weeks, finally with a win to show for it, is exactly the profile of a team that quietly wins six or seven of its last nine while nobody outside Baltimore is watching. The Chronicle isn't promising a playoff run. It's saying: don't be surprised if this isn't the same 1-7 team by December.
From a reader who wants the record book context: "How big a deal is a 72-yard field goal, really? What was the record before this?"
Jenna: It's a big deal — the Chronicle checked directly against the league's official records before writing a word of this issue. The mark Wil Lutz broke was 68 yards, shared by two different kickers in two different seasons, and it had stood since before this volume of the Chronicle existed. Beating a tied record outright by four yards, in-game, on a real kick rather than an end-of-half heave that barely reaches the goalposts, is rare enough that the Chronicle expects to be writing about it again in the "From the Archives" section someday.
From a reader thinking about the three teams left: "Green Bay, Denver and Cincinnati are all unbeaten or close to it. Do any of them actually play each other before the season ends?"
Jenna: Not yet on the board as far as the Chronicle can see from the schedule released so far — none of the three has a date with either of the other two lined up in the next several weeks. That is either good news or bad news depending on your appetite for chaos: good, because it means all three have a real shot at extending their streaks for a while longer; bad, because it means the league is going to have to wait for the answer to the question everybody actually wants settled. The Chronicle will keep checking every week.

League Poll

Results from last issue's poll are in: 7 votes on which Week 8 performance was most fun to watch, and Shane Dressler's six-interception-to-six-touchdown turnaround ran away with it — 4 votes (57.1%). Josh Newton's two pick-sixes took 2 (28.6%), Trevor Etienne's breakout took 1 (14.3%), and Jahmyr Gibbs's 209-yard day got shut out with zero votes.

This week's poll:

Wil Lutz just broke a record that stood for two seasons. Which record on the books do you most want to see fall next?

  • Single-game rushing yards — 388, Bijan Robinson
  • Single-game passing TDs — 8, Joe Burrow
  • Single-season rushing yards — 2,924, Bijan Robinson
  • Something nobody's thinking about yet — this league keeps surprising us

Sign in with Discord to vote and see where the league landed.

Nine weeks down, nine to go, and the league just handed the Chronicle two of the biggest stories of the season on the same Sunday afternoon. Washington's perfect season is over. Wil Lutz's name is now permanently in the record book. Three teams are still unbeaten or one loss away from it, and none of them has played each other yet.

Baltimore has its first win. Las Vegas is alone at the bottom. Somewhere in the middle of the standings, thirty other teams are still trying to figure out which version of themselves shows up in the second half.

Press Row is open, the mailbag runs with your name on it, and the poll is live — vote, and the Chronicle will see everybody back here after Week 10.

Until next week, the Chronicle stands with all 32.
— Jenna Tulls, Senior HFL Correspondent

Beat Jenna

Every Game of the Week pick, scored. Jenna is 7-1 on the 8 games she has called.

MemberWLBeat Jenna
1MrPlanters NE701/5
2luke2612 100/0
3skeem__ 010/0
—Jenna Tulls DESK71—

Full table and this week's pick →

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